Satire: Allen Iverson Tired of Being Promised as Solution to World’s Problems – 讽刺:阿伦艾弗森厌倦了被许诺成为世界问题的解决方案

Satire: Allen Iverson Tired of Being Promised as Solution to World’s Problems - 讽刺:阿伦艾弗森厌倦了被许诺成为世界问题的解决方案

He doesn’t have *all* the answers.
Ezra Shaw—Getty Images

WPA6021602IMG他没有所有的答案。Ezra Shaw Getty图像


Ashwin Rodrigues

May 9, 2018


LOS ANGELES, Calif. — As the world froths from the mouth over the boundless potential of AI, one man is frankly tired of it.

Allen Iverson, former guard for fourteen seasons in the NBA, would like to clarify he will not be at the forefront of blockchain technology, content moderation techniques, or supply chain management.

“It is becoming impossible for me to read the daily technology trades without seeing a reference to AI. Everyone says AI is the answer, which is true. I am the Answer,” said Iverson in a press conference addressing national media.

“However,” Iverson continued, “I am worried I am being promised as the Answer to questions I haven’t dared to ask.”

The famous basketball player is at his wit’s end as he is conflated with Artificial Intelligence on a nearly daily basis. Most recently, Google has promised that AI will now power a new Smart Reply feature for Gmail users.

“Also, why can’t people write their own emails? Isn’t that what makes us human?” Iverson asked the press corps.

Iverson listed off a number of solutions he’d been unwittingly signed up for, without his consent. Though it is the most recent example, Google is not the only guilty party. In a testimony to Congress, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg promised AI would be the long-term solution to growing content moderation problems on the Facebook network.

“I understand there are some similarities between defense on a basketball court and developing a strategy to curtail the presence of bad actors on the world’s largest social media platform. But Mark did not ask before volunteering me for this very important job. If he did ask, he would know I’m retired.”

“Perhaps for everyone’s sake, we can clearly delineate when we are referring to Artificial Intelligence, or me, Allen Iverson. It would spare me from intense moments of grief and exasperation. I’d love to be the Answer when I can, and I understand there are times where it is the other AI,” said Iverson. “If it helps, I also go by Bubba Chuck.”

For more satire from Fortune, click here.

洛杉矶,Calif.——从世界泡沫的嘴里越过艾的无限潜力,一个人坦白地厌倦了它。阿伦艾弗森是NBA十四个赛季的前后卫,他想澄清他不会站在BangSink技术、内容调节技术或供应链管理的最前沿。“我不可能在没有参考AI的情况下阅读日常技术交易。每个人都说人工智能是答案,这是真的。我是答案,”艾弗森在全国媒体的新闻发布会上说。WPAP60300 4QTE.然而,WPAP60300 6QTE艾弗森继续,WPAP60300 4QTEI AM担心我的回答是我的问题的答案WAPWPA60607QTET敢于ASK.WPAP60300 6QTE著名的篮球运动员是在他的智慧结束,因为他与人工智能在一个NEA的融合。每日基础。最近,谷歌承诺AI现在将为Gmail用户提供一个新的智能回复功能。还有,为什么CANWPA60607QTET的人写他们自己的电子邮件?是什么使我们成为人类?艾弗森问新闻团。艾弗森列出了一些他无意中签署的解决方案,但没有得到他的同意。虽然这是最新的例子,但谷歌并不是唯一一个有罪的政党。在向国会作证时,脸谱网首席执行官马克·扎克伯格承诺,AI将是脸谱网网络上日益增长的内容适度问题的长期解决方案。“我知道在篮球场上防守和制定一个战略来减少世界上最大的社交媒体平台上的坏演员的存在有一些相似之处。但马克没有主动要求我做这个非常重要的工作。“如果他问我,他就会知道我已经退休了。”“也许为了每个人的缘故,我们可以清楚地描述我们指的是人工智能,或者是我,阿伦艾弗森。”这会让我摆脱悲伤和愤怒的强烈时刻。我喜欢当我能回答的时候,我知道有些时候它是另一个人工智能。”艾弗森说。WPA60604QTEIF有帮助,我还通过Buba Cukk.WPAP60300 6QTE从财富更多的讽刺,点击这里。


Satire: Allen Iverson Tired of Being Promised as Solution to World’s Problems - 讽刺:阿伦艾弗森厌倦了被许诺成为世界问题的解决方案

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